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Marty McFly ; Dear Bruhman

Marty McFly — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 21:33:26 +0000

wassup buddy? can I get my freak’n tie back? my lord. u’ve had it for over a month now. ooo lemme guess…..it’s been sitt’n in ur closet like u own it eh? figures. I’m sorry ppl but the other day I was forced to look up the word ‘borrow’. and it def said “wit the intention to return”. intention? bruhman u had BETTER return my shit! listen, I truely don’t want it the same day I lent it to u. truthfully speak’n, u can HOLD it for atleast a week in my book. but here r a few things that I don’t wanna see happen’n wit my stuff. A. DON’T let me see that u have lent it out to someone else. ie ur cousin,friend, etc. something lent can’t be RE-lent. that’s like…ghetto. and B. please DON’T wear my shit out. once is enough. I kno u borrow’d it because it’s cool and all but one n done is the rule. return’n my stuff all beat up will get u BEAT UP. listen we all have alil bruhman in us. pause. mainly because we truely can’t ever have everything we want. but holding on to borrow’d items will only get u taken off the “can borrow” list. and slapp’d. semi hard. so bruhman keep my tie. those stains aren’t gonna come out. that church chicken is greasy huh? sigh.

ps “hey Martin, just came to borrow some toilet paper. had to take a shit. coo right? (insert bruhman head nod) CLASSIC!

I Hate Kobe Bryant

Marty McFly — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 20:31:16 +0000

this Kobe guy is so easy to hate. forget his ridiculous stat sheet, he’s a asshole from bball hell. I freak’n hate the guy. he’s a cheating, arrogant, self-center’d prick. and we all know this because……well to be honest we don’t him personally at all. the phrase “I hate u” has to be the new “love u very much” because ppl apply hate for no apparent reason. it’s almost like if u can’t do/have/achieve wat someone else has, then just hate them. oo and sucker all ur other friends into the hate committee wit u. meetings during laker games ok? right. feel like I’m state’n the obvious when I say u truely only hate Kobe Bryant due to his success. woman u can play the “I hate men that cheat” card yet u flirt wit that co-worker daily. and man u can play the “well he isn’t MJ” when u kno the media is fuel’n that debate to increase ratings. atleast come up wit a good reason on why u hate this 5 time champion. I chose to hate him because he has that beautiful spanish woman on his arm. whew. I’d drink her bathwater ANY DAY. (insert burp) choose ur “I hate Kobe” reason wisely. u don’t wanna seem like a hater homie. I mean u can take ur team to back to back championships right? win back to back playoff MVP’s? have the highest sold jersey in the world for multiple years in a row? ya. shut up. btw someone send this to Lebron for me. can I get a witness? “Everyting negative – pressure, challenges – is all an opportunity for me to rise.” – Kobe Bryant

I See You Frontin’, Witcha Frontin’ Ass

Neek — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 20:14:35 +0000

We all know that one person (or maybe more than one, shit, it’s an epidemic these days). You know the one. The one who talks a great game, but never backs it up. The one who is always making all these grandiose claims, but can’t ever show you anything of substance to prove it. It’s the guy who claims he is always “grinding“, but who has been trying to get a rap career started since Tupac was still alive. Yep, that nigga that stays telling you how he’s in “the studio” or “the lab“, but in all actuality he has only managed to record in his own bedroom and his only claim to fame is that he posted the shit on MySpace for his 27 friends to hear (or not, because seriously, who the fuck is still actively using MySpace?). That’s not a career. That’s a hobby. Or, my favorite form of fronting ass fraudulent foo’: the person who stays in the most expensive outfits that the swap meet can provide, but who’s always yelling out how they’re “BAWLINNNNNNN’” and talking about the bigger and better shit they’re “finna” buy next. I know cheap shit when I see it, ho. Those Gs on your “Goach” purse aren’t fooling anyone, and if you ever find yourself wearing imitation SouthPole or Platinum Fubu you should seriously reevaluate your whole existence. Seriously.

Well, here is a NEWSFLASH for all these sad, frontin’ ass individuals, since they don’t quite seem to get it: Bitch, we don’t believe you!

Now, this is not about me thinking everyone should actually be “balling” or even hugely successful in all their endeavors. Shit, we all gotta start somewhere, and that somewhere is usually in the fraternity of Broke Phi Broke (© Kanye). I am just a struggling college student myself. I am not paid in the shade sippin’ on a glass of lemonade. I gotta work hard to earn my little nickels and dimes, just so I can go and ball out at the taco truck and make it rain at my local wishing well. But the difference between my broke ass and Miss “I’m paid $$$ < just look at those dolla' signs and the designs on my acrylics” is that I have embraced my position. I can’t afford Gucci and Louis Vuitton (yet), most of us can’t, so I’ll be damned if I try to pretend I can. I’m in school attempting to position myself to one day make enough money to be able to afford some of the finer things in life. What I do not and will not ever do is run around attempting to convince the world of something that’s not true. Now, don’t get it twisted, you don’t ever have to LOOK broke. There are far too many sale and clearance racks for that, but when you attempt to spray paint the bottom of those Payless heels red for the “Louboutin effect”, Houston, we have a problem. Just do you and focus on finding a legit way to get into that higher tax bracket that you so desperately desire to belong to. Focusing on fooling the world is futile. You only end up looking foolish. Oh, and baby boo, everybody can’t have a rap career. I’m sorry, it’s just the truth. The music industry is crumbling as we speak, you might wanna invest all that money you are spending on equipment into an education. Everest is always seeking applicants. I’m just sayin’.

Greene, Imus & Stern

Halftime — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 17:01:13 +0000

I’m Petey Greene, Don Imus & Howard Stern all in one. If you know who these three legends are then you will realize that the future of radio will never be the same. I plan to pay homage while changing the whole outlook on RADIO. I plan to use the ignorance of Dom Imus the random side of Howard Stern and the hustle of Petey Greene to catch your ears. Anyone who knows me knows how passionate I am about radio and they all believe that I will one day be the biggest Online Radio Personality since G.I.S (Greene, Imus, Stern). There’s no school for this! even if Howard Stern went off to college he used that to get himself in the door but that degree didn’t keep him there. It was the fact that he said whatever he wanted and used his creativity to catch people. Petey Greene to me was a natural born hustler, anyone who gets themselves out of a 3 to 5 jail sentence by talking an inmate into getting on the roof to fake as if hes going to jump is a pure genius. His life is never really spoken on when it comes to radio but I am here to change that I feel I actually owe that to him. He paved the way for so many radio personalities to be themselves in a world where they try to control everything you or do. Don Imus is a complete racist its nothing good you can actually say but the thing that I respect about him is that he never hides it. Here I am a african american supporting a racist who would call me a nigger any chance he gets. See the difference is I can careless ! I am here for a reason I am glad that he speaks his mind I am a fan of that. I am not a fan of sensitivity but I am a fan of ignorance. Call it outlandish but despite it all of this you will learn something.

“they might not like us, but they don’t change the dial” - Petey Greene RIP

Asian Chicks are the new White Girls

Halftime — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 04:51:05 +0000

The thought of soy sauce & egg drop soup always come to mind when I see an asian chick. This all started when I use to watch sailor moon even though I was never a fan of anime it was just something about these cartoon bitches. Now I won’t admit to having a crush on a cartoon character even thou I think Ms Cita from B.E.T & Foxxy Love from drawn together are the sexiest digital/animated chicks ever created (don’t judge me, seriously don’t. I mean well). Shoutout to Cree Summers for doing the voice for Foxxy. Sorry I was sidetracked by all this scattered cartoon chicks but like I was saying Asian Chicks has stepped it up in a new exciting way. Setting trends & still causing accidents in traffic literally has everyone wanting to have one of their own. Think about it even these black females are dressing like asian chicks its safe to say they’re a special breed of females. These crouching tiger hidden dragon chicks are everywhere now and it seems as if more and more black men are wifing up them. I remember when having a white girl was cool & everyone would either hate you for it or hate it because they were jealous. Now a days that shit is just normal (wait, that sounded racist) and bragging about having a white girl would only leave you with blank stares. White Girls will never go out of style because its nothing wrong with a chick with clamy hands massaging your testicles but this is totally different. Now if you think you will find an asian chick with a fat ass & knows karate you’re sadly mistaking. I won’t go into full detail about all the stereotypes but white girls have went down in the rankings and asian chicks are slowly rising. The only fucked up thing about all of this is you will never find an asian chick that look like the ones in the movies, unless you’re in the bay area.

Marty McFly “dewbee doubee doo”

Marty McFly — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 04:06:06 +0000

Ima set the scene for u. it’s been a long day. me n my hunny bunches of oates just had dinner. lil smooch. bam. time for bed. I caught a glimpes of that apple bottom when she bent over earlier so u kno I’m feel’n ready. ya. ready. wam. hop in the bed. just wait’n. and then……she comes out….wit that god damn head wrap on! WTF! hey ladies, if u wanna kill the mood wit ur man/husband/boo thang. come outta the bathroom wit that damn doobee on. and watch how un-frisky that nigga becomes. just saying. I grew up wit 3 sisters and my mom. and around the 9:30 mark every night they all huddled in the bathroom wit the brush and wrapped their hair. in the begin’n I thought it was just a “my family” thing. boy was I wrong. shit is international. minus Africa. no offense but I watch national geographic. ain’t no way they wrap’n their scalp up. back to the point. the dewbee has to be a woman’s way of say’n “not tonight nigga.” don’t get me wrong though. I get the whole, gotta keep ur hair nice thing. understood. weave ain’t cheap. no sense in waste’n it on the pillow right? wrong! waste it on the damn pillow. I don’t wanna go to stroke ur hair and feel like i’m sleep’n next to a arabian man. aladdin. I figured I’d write this entry so y’all kno wat some of us “I wanna bang my mrs every night” niggas r think’n when u decide to “nigga please” us every night. some nights u better maintain ur sexy when u come to bed. or don’t be madd when u catch him inet love’n some chick that lives across the country. HA! gotta love 2010. “What’s up, world? I’m Sway, and this is my inexplicable head wrap.” -MTV VJ Sway

The Fuckery That Lives Within

Halftime — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 15:11:56 +0000

I press buttons, ever since I was a kid I have been a fan of buttons.. let me explain “ever been on the elevator and you see that red button that says STOP NIGGA!” yep, I pressed it. Ive noticed the reason why I press these buttons is because I am Black. LOL seriously we like doing shit we are not suppose to do and I am quite fine with it. I am completely sober and I came up with the reason why us black people rebel. Now I am actually making up shit as I go, seriously. I am just typing whatever comes to my mind so hopefully by the end of this blog entry I atleast make some sense. (20 minutes elapsed) I just started cooking pasta, and realize I had no damn pasta sauce, but hey what you call ghetto we call improvising I have chicken breast though and some slices of bread now I wont make a pasta chicken sandwich but since im hungry I will make it work. I know what you’re thinking what the fuck does this have to do with buttons & the reason why black people rebel. See I am so black that I am rebelling against the topic of the blog plus I am hungry so fuck this shit.

“now heres a song by Trick Daddy called Amerika the beat is actually a sample from R. Kelly but fuck that nigga I love this song and the content but while listening to this song I have the feeling that I will have to take a piss by the time this song goes off.”

Marty McFly “No Ass At All”

Marty McFly — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 14:31:11 +0000

go ahead. make a ASS of urself woman. sorry ladies. but I gotta serve u unreal, plastic body, fake barbies a hot one real quick. and ima try reaaaaal hard not to make this a rant. pause. haha. now I’m not bein a huge body lover, but I can appreciate a ooo so nice, apple shaped, bubble butt. whew. the kind that make u appreciate any object that is round? ya well things have changed. it’s bad enough we are struggle’n to figure out if those D cup breast are all natural. now when I sneak and grab ur butt in the grocery store there may be a chance that I could feel a pad? or a hard liquid substance? a cushion? maybe some tissue paper? i’m outraged. listen I’m not here to pass judgement nicki minaj. i get the whole “ooo well I paid for it, therefore it is MY ass/hair/eye color/fingernails/boobs” etc. but there has to be a line drawn. wats next? ppl gett’n face lifts to look like their favorite celeb? maybe i’m old-school where the realer the better. I just wanna kno that atleast a good portion of ur body is wat ur momma gave ya. natural beauty has lost it’s flare. the search for perfection has to end. either u have it or not. some adjustments r ok but u gotta kno even if u have a flat surf board ass there is some white dood out there wait’n to love u. (no racism). haha. beside every female butt looks ok in a thong. atleast I think…I leave u wit this nicki minaj. COOL it. all u females that r gett’n this procedure are old enough to kno that beauty is only skin deep. no matter how many times u try n make somethin perfect, ur mind will tell u, ur still not right. u can keep try’n to make urself perfect nicki minaj. but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. inner nicki. inner. it’s McFly bitch.

“Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin.
That, or a kick-ass red lipstick.” – Gwyneth Paltrow

(Place Witty Blog Title Here)

Halftime — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 14:22:07 +0000

Hi Neek, last week was an interesting week. I was clearly tested by an higher power which only leads me to believe I need to become a stronger person. They’re somethings I might have to give up in the process that might either make me highly stressful or more business minded. How important is friendship? I bounce around that question a lot only because trust is something I need to work on. I over think everything which makes it harder to think clearly. The plans I make for the future is rather sketchy only because I havent did the ground work. I lack resources and the drive. (“lack of ambition, so wack” - Jay-z) I don’t know whats worse not knowing your problems or not knowing where to start. Either way sleep is not an option right now, even though its needed I’ve wasted too much time. I have a lot of things I want to work on which includes another person. I need to get out of that habit of depending on other people to do things. I want this to work and the only way it will work is if I am handling business. Hurry Up This Way Again I need to restore the feeling & the passion I had for this.

(This was written on February 22nd)

Friends: How Many Of Us Have Them?

Neek — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 00:26:08 +0000

This right here is a picture of me and my best friend, who I’ve know since 3rd grade. This is us back in simpler times, when our only concern was what game to play at lunchtime recess and who was gonna be kingcaller during “eeny-meeny-miney-mo“. We’ve had our minor issues over the years, the little shit ALL friends go through, but, through it all, we have managed to stay best friends to this very day. What’s our big secret to a long lasting friendship, you ask? How have we kept the spark in our relationship burning bright for 13 long wonderful years?

We don’t do bitch-ass shit to each other.

Seems simple enough, right? You’d think it’s common sense, but you’d think wrong. Apparently many people don’t live by this credo in their friendships, and then they walk around wondering why people keep dropping out of their lives like DNA-tested Maury show participants. But seriously, have you looked at the shit you do to your so-called friends? How are you flirting with your friend’s man every chance you get and still expecting the friendship to last? How do you borrow money from your friend and never pay it back, and then have the nerve and audacity to turn around and get mad because she’s letting a money issue affect your relationship? “We’re s’posed to be bigger than that!” Bitch, please. How come we’re only supposed to be “bigger than” shit when you’re the one fucking up? Things that make you go “hmmm“. And who the fuck are you to think you can tell your friend who they can and can’t be friends with? Making ultimatums and shit, and then getting mad when they decide that you’re the weakest link. Good-bye.

But I digress.

This whole blog was inspired by my 8 year old niece. She came home from school yesterday, pouting and overall down in the dumps, and when I asked her why she began to tell me how she had just lost one of her closest friends over some old bullshit (my words, not hers, lol). She was truly hurt by it yesterday, but I’m sure she’ll go back to school today and it will all be back to normal, because at 8 years old that’s how friendship works. Somebody does something fucked up to you, you’re mad for like 10 minutes, and then you’re best friends again. It’s that simple. But the fact that the whole scenario she shared with me was one that has happened to me with a grown ass person got me thinking. Maybe some of us never truly learn how to be real friends. Somewhere along they way, these little kids, who do grimey shit to people and expect everything to be cool, grow up into adults who do the exact same shit. Maybe my niece shouldn’t just go back to school and act like everything is fine. Maybe she needs to just cut this little heffa off. And then maybe, just maybe, her little mean ass would learn a lesson that many grown ass people still have yet to fully comprehend. You don’t do bitch-ass shit to your friends!

Or maybe I’m just jaded.

Either way, it’s 2010, and if you’re grown with NO fucking friends, maybe it’s time to take a look at yourself and figure out what’s going on. I’m not saying you should have 12 best friends and a posse of homies when your grown, *cough* Ray J *cough*, but if you don’t have one close friend in this world, all I’m saying is it’s probably your fault. Witcha bitch-ass.

Until next time,
Neek